Have you ever noticed how the people you attract seem to reflect the energy you put into the world? We often think we’re attracting others for reasons that are beyond our control, but what if it’s all connected to the way we view ourselves and the way we prioritize our own needs?

At the core of human behavior is a simple truth: most people are consumed with themselves. This isn’t a judgment; it’s just the reality of the world we live in. We are all driven by our own needs, desires, and emotions, and whether we recognize it or not, this often defines the relationships we form.

The Power of Self-Reflection

When we focus on our personal needs, our health, or our well-being, we often think we’re doing it in a way that helps others too. For example, many of us strive for health, peace, and happiness because we want to be able to give more to the people we care about. But here's the kicker: most of us are still focused on ourselves in those moments. You may think you're doing everything for the benefit of others, but in reality, you're meeting your own emotional needs or personal desires.

When you spend your time thinking about your health, your goals, and your well-being, the energy you put out into the world will inevitably attract people who are also hyper-focused on their own needs. It’s a cycle. If you’re only thinking about how to get your needs met, you’ll attract people who are doing the same. And while this doesn’t make them bad people, it can create a certain kind of dynamic—one where everyone is focused on their own wants and desires, rather than being truly present for one another.

The Truth About Human Nature

If we take a step back and look at the world, we’ll see that most people are just like us: preoccupied with their own lives. Everyone is seeking to fulfill their own emotional, physical, and spiritual needs, often without realizing how much of their behavior is motivated by these desires. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

But when we fail to recognize this, we can become frustrated by the relationships we form. We might find ourselves wondering why people aren’t as caring, supportive, or empathetic as we wish them to be. The truth is, most of the world is thinking about what’s important to them—and it’s not personal. It’s simply human nature.

Why It’s Important to Accept This Reality

Once you accept the reality that everyone is consumed with their own thoughts, it becomes easier to understand why people act the way they do. This doesn’t mean you should stop caring about others, but it does mean that you must accept that people’s behaviors are often centered around their own needs and experiences.

And here’s the powerful part: when you accept this, you start to shift your mindset. You begin to realize that you have the power to change how you show up in the world. If you want to attract people who are more in tune with your needs, you need to be mindful of how you approach your own life. Your thoughts, actions, and desires set the tone for what you will receive in return.

Embrace Your Role in the Cycle

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that everyone else is the problem when relationships don’t work out or when things feel unbalanced. But the truth is, you are attracting what you are putting out into the world When you operate from a place of self-focus or self-preservation, you will naturally draw in people who are also operating from a similar place.

Instead of blaming others for their behavior, start by looking inward. 

Ask yourself: Are you truly connecting with others, or are you primarily concerned with getting your own needs met? 

Are you offering genuine support, or are you expecting something in return? 

When you become aware of this cycle, you can begin to shift the way you engage with the world—and attract relationships that are healthier, more balanced, and more supportive.

Final Thoughts: Finding Balance

It’s important to remember that self-care and self-reflection are essential for growth. But there’s a balance to be struck. If we become too focused on our own needs at the expense of others, we risk creating a world where we only attract people who are just as self-focused.

By accepting the fact that everyone is consumed with their own needs, we can stop taking it personally when others aren’t as focused on us as we might hope. Instead, we can focus on self-awareness and find ways to connect with others from a place of understanding, compassion, and mutual respect.

The next time you find yourself frustrated with others, remember this: You attract what you focus on. 

Shift your energy and see how it transforms your relationships.

Creatively,

Dwayne Barnes

*written by me and edited by ChatGPT.